The Timid Bartender
Thursday, May 29th, 2008
Welcome to Thursday’s Edition!
In today’s issue …
1) The Timid Bartender
2) Today’s Opportunities
3) Desperate Measures
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The Timid Bartender
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A bar owner in the Old West has just hired a timid new
bartender. The owner of the establishment is giving his
new hire some instructions on running the place.
He tells the timid man, “If you ever hear that Big John is
coming to town, drop everything and run for the hills.
He’s the meanest, biggest, nastiest outlaw who ever lived.”
A few weeks pass uneventfully. But one afternoon, a local
cowhand comes running through town yelling, “Big John is
coming to town! Run for your lives!”
When the bartender exits the saloon to start running,
he’s knocked to the ground by several townspeople
scurrying out of town. As he’s picking himself up,
he sees a large man approaching the saloon, probably
about 7 feet tall, muscular, grunting and growling as he
walks. He stomps up to the door, orders the poor barkeep
inside, and demands, “I want a beer NOW”
He pounds his heavy fist on the bar, splitting it in half.
The bartender nervously hands the big man a beer,
hands shaking. He takes the beer, rips the top of the bottle
off with his teeth, and downs the beer in one gulp.
As the poor timid bartender cowers behind the bar,
the big man gets up to leave.
“Do you want another beer?” the bartender calls out.
“Dang it, I don’t have time!” the big man yells. “I gotta
get out of town! Didn’t ya hear Big John is a-comin?”
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Desperate Measures
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Someone mistakenly leaves the cages open in the reptile
house at the local zoo.
Visitors are ushered out and the zoo is closed as snakes
slitheri all over the place. Frantically, the keeper tries
everything, but no matter what he tries, he can’t get them
back in their cages.
Finally he turns to his aide and says, “I had hoped it would
not come to this, but desperate times call for desperate
measures. Run to the office and call a lawyer!”
“A lawyer? Why?”
“We need someone who speaks their language!”
Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.
Best regards,
Anne Marie, Your Publisher
© 2007-2008 Jokes Journal.
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