Jokes Journal

Welcome to Friday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Whom Did You Marry?
2) Today’s Opportunities
3) The Turtle

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Whom Did You Marry?
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A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined.

The lawyer thundered, “Have you ever been married?”

“Yes, sir,” said the witness in a low voice. “Once.”

“Whom did you marry?” the lawyer demanded.

“Well, a woman,” the witness answered timidly.

The lawyer said angrily, “Of course you married a woman.
Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?”

And the witness said meekly, “My sister did.”

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The Turtle
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A guy comes walking into a bar with a little turtle in his hand.
The turtle’s one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are
bandaged, and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape.

The bartender asks the man,
“What’s wrong with your turtle?”

“Nothing”, the man responds, “this turtle is very fast.
Take your dog and let him stand at the end of the bar.
Then go and stand at the other end of the room and
call your dog. I’ll bet you 5000 bucks that before your
dog reaches you, my turtle will be there.”

So the bartender, thinking it’s an easy 5000, agrees.
He goes to the other side of the bar, and on the count
of three calls his dog. Suddenly the guy picks up his turtle
and throws it across the room, narrowly missing the
bartender, and smashing into the wall.

“Told you it’ll be there before your dog.”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Best regards,
Anne Marie, Your Publisher

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© 2007-2008 Jokes Journal.

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