Jokes Journal

Welcome to Monday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Gifts For Mom
2) Today’s Opportunities
3) An Unusual Pet

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Gifts For Mom
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Three sons left home and prospered in life. When getting
back together they discussed their success and the great
gifts they were able to buy their elderly mother.

“The first son said, “I sent mom a Mercedes.”

The second son said, “I bought mom a mansion.”

The third son smirked and said, “I’ve got you both BEAT!
Remember how mom liked reading the Bible when we were
young? And you know she can’t see very well anymore?
Well, I sent her an awesome parrot that recites the ENTIRE
Bible! It took elders in the church 12 years to teach this
parrot. He’s one of a kind! Mom now just has to name
the verse and BAM! The parrot recites it!”

Soon after this meeting of the sons, mom sent out her
thank you letters.

“Andy,” she wrote, “the house you built is so big and even
though I live in one room, I still have to clean the whole house.”

“John,” she wrote, “I am too old to travel and spend most
of my time at home, so I never use the Mercedes.

“Mark,” she wrote to her third son, “You are my favorite son.
You have such good sense to know what your mother likes.
The chicken was simply delicious!”

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An Unusual Pet
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A guy was lonely, and decided life would be more fun
if he had a pet.

He went to the pet store and told the owner that he
wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede,
which came in a little white box to use for his house.

He took the box back home, found a good location for
the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new
pet to the bar to have a drink.

So he asked the centipede in the box, “Would you like
to go to Frank’s with me and have a beer?”

But there was no answer from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and
then asked him again, “How about going to the bar and
having a drink with me?”

But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.

So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.

He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his
face up against the centipede’s house and shouting,
“Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank’s place and
have a drink with me?”

A little voice came out of the box: “I heard you the first time!
I’m putting on my shoes!”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Anne Marie, Your Publisher

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