Holiday Shopping
Thursday, December 18th, 2008
Welcome to Thursday’s Edition!
In today’s issue …
1) Holiday Shopping
2) Today’s Opportunities
3) Sleeping Rough
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Holiday Shopping
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A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most
expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the
check out counter where she told the check out girl,
“Nothing but the best for my little kitten on Christmas.”
The girl at the cash register said, “I’m sorry, but we cannot
sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of
old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants
proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat.”
The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought
it back to the store. They sold her the cat food.
The next day, the old lady went to the store and bought 12
of the most expensive dog cookies – one for each day of
Christmas. The cashier this time demanded proof that she
now had a dog, claiming that old people sometimes eat
dog food.
Frustrated she went home, came back and brought in her
dog. She was then given the dog cookies.
The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid.
The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger
in the hole.
The cashier said, “No, you might have a snake in there.”
The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in
the box that would bite her.
So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it
out and told the little old lady, “That smells like crap.”
The little old lady grinned from ear to ear,
“Now, my dear, can I please buy three rolls of toilet paper?”
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Sleeping Rough
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A police chief, a fire chief and a city manager were traveling
together by car to a municipal management conference in
a distant city. Their car broke down in a rural area, and they
were forced to seek shelter for the night at a nearby
farmhouse.
The farmer welcomed them in but cautioned them that
there were only two spare beds, and that one of them
would have to sleep in the barn with the farm animals.
After a short conference, the police chief agreed to take
the barn.
Shortly after retiring, a knock was heard on the door
of the farmhouse. The party inside answered to find the
police chief standing there, complaining that he could not
sleep. There were pigs in the barn, he said, and he was
reminded of the days when everyone called him a pig.
The fire chief then volunteered to exchange with the
police chief.
A short time later, another knock was heard at the door.
The fire chief complained that the cows in the barn
reminded him of Mrs. O’Leary’s cow that started the
Chicago fire, and that every time he started to go to sleep,
he started to have a fireman’s worst nightmare,
that of burning to death.
The city attorney, in desperation for sleep, then agreed
to sleep in the barn.
This seemed like a good idea until a few minutes later,
when another knock was heard at the door. When the
occupants answered the door, there stood the very
indignant cows and pigs.
Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.
© 2007-2008 Jokes Journal.
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