Trial for Murder
Tuesday, April 28th, 2009
Welcome to Tuesday’s Edition!
In today’s issue …
1) Saving Time
2) Today’s Opportunities
3) A Trial for Murder
Saving Time
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with
a note of caution. “Don’t try these techniques
at home.”
“Why not?” asked somebody from the audience.
“I watched my wife’s routine at breakfast for years,”
the expert explained. “She made lots of trips
between the fridge, stove, table and cabinets,
often carrying a single item at a time. One day
I told her, ‘You’re wasting too much time.
Why don’t you try carrying several things at once?’”
“Did it save time?” the guy in the audience asked.
“Actually, yes,” replied the expert. “It used to take
her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in ten.”
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A Trial for Murder
A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong
evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse.
In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing
that his client would probably be convicted, resorted
to a trick:
“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for
you all,” the lawyer said as he looked at his watch.
“Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this
case will walk into this courtroom.”
He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors,
somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute
passed. Nothing happened.
Finally the lawyer said, “Actually, I made up the previous
statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore
put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case
as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return
a verdict of not guilty.”
The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few
minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict
of guilty.
“But how?” inquired the lawyer. “You must have had
some doubt, I saw all of you stare at the door.”
The jury foreman replied:
“Oh, we did look, but your client didn’t.”
Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.
