Jokes Journal

Welcome to Monday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Male Assertiveness
2) Today’s Opportunities
3) Writing a Christmas List

A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed
around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem,
and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read
on the way home.

He had finished the book by the time he reached
his house.

The man stormed into the house and walked up to
his wife.

Pointing a finger in her face, he said, “From now on,
I want you to know that I am the man of this house,
and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a
gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating
my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward.
Then, after dinner, you’re going to draw me my bath
so I can relax. And when I’m finished with my bath,
guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”

“The funeral director,” said his wife.

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A mafioso’s son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to
Jesus. He first writes, “Dear baby Jesus, I have been a
good boy the whole year, so I want a new…”

He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws
it away. He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again,
“Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the
year, so I want a new…” He again looks at it with disgust
and throws it away.

He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother’s room,
takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet,
and locks the door.

He takes another piece of paper and writes, “Dear baby
Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again …”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.