Jokes Journal

Welcome to Wednesday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Peach Brandy
2) Today’s Opportunities
3) A Drunk Dials 911 …

A Baptist preacher went to visit a member of the
community and invited him to come to church
Sunday morning.

It seems that this man was a producer of fine
peach brandy, and told the preacher that he
would attend his church IF the pastor would
drink some of his brandy and admit doing so
in front of his congregation.

The preacher agreed and drank up.

Sunday morning the man visited the church.

The preacher recognized the man from the pulpit
and said: “I see Mr. Johnson is here with us this
morning. I want to thank him publicly for his
hospitality this week and especially for the
peaches he gave me and the spirit in which
they were given.”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender to give him
a shot of tequilla. The man downs the first one, slams the
glass on the bar and immediately asks for another. The
bartender gives him another shot. The man downs the
second one and slams the glass on the bar again. He
repeatidly asks for shots of tequilla until the bartender
refuses to give him anymore.

Disgustidly the man exits the bar cussing and yelling at the
bartender making a complete fool of himself.

About two minutes later the drunk comes running back
in the bar in panic. He urgently asks the bartender to
hand him the phone.

The drunk takes the phone and dials 911. When the police
answer the phone the man says, “Somebody has broken
into my car.

They took my steering wheel, my accelerator and brake
pedal, and even my dashboard.”

The police reply that they will be down in a few minutes.

The man walks out of the bar again, then returns a couple
of minutes later. He picks up the phone and dials 911 again.
When the police answers the phone the man says,

“I just called about a car that had been broken into.
Never mind … I mistakenly got in the back seat.”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.