Jokes Journal

Welcome to Wednesday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) God Takes a Holiday
2) Today’s Opportunities
3) Mean Old Woman

God is tired, worn out. So he speaks to St. Peter,
“You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions
where I should go?”

St. Peter, thinking, nods his head, then says,
“How about Jupiter? It’s nice and warm there this time
of the year.”

God shakes His head before saying, “No. Too much
gravity. You know how that hurts my back.”

“Hmmm,” St. Peter reflects. “Well, how about Mercury?”

“No way!” God mutters, “It’s way too hot for me there!”

“I’ve got it,” St. Peter says, his face lighting up.
“How about going Down to Earth for your vacation?”

Chuckling, God remarks, “Are you kidding?
Two thousand years ago I went there, had an affair
with some nice Jewish girl, and they’re STILL talking
about it!”

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An old man and woman were married for years,
even though they hated each other. When they had
a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be
heard deep into the night.

The old man would shout, “When I die, I will dig
my way up and out of the grave and come back
and haunt you for the rest of your life!”

Neighbors feared him because of the many strange
occurrences that took place in their neighborhood.

The old man liked the fact he was feared.

To everyone’s relief, he died of a heart attack
when he was 68.

His wife had a closed casket at the wake.
After the burial, she went straight home and
began to party as if there was no tomorrow.

Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked,

“Aren’t you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig
his way up and out of the grave and come back and
haunt you for the rest of your life?”

The wife put down her drink and said, “Let the old
man dig. I had him buried upside down.”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.