Jokes Journal

Welcome to Monday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Presents for Teacher
2) Today’s Opportunities
3) Ladies, Read Only The First Part – Men, The Rest

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought
presents for their teacher.

The florist’s son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it,
held it up and said, “I bet I know what it is – it’s some
flowers!”

“That’s right!” shouted the little boy.

Then the candy store owner’s daughter handed the
teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said,
“I bet I know what it is – it’s a box of candy!”

“That’s right!” shouted the little girl.

The next gift was from the liquor store owner’s son.

The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking.
She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.

“Is it wine?” she asked.

“No,” the boy answered.

The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.
“Is it champagne?” she asked.

“No,” the boy answered.

Finally, the teacher said, “I give up. What is it?”

The boy replied, “A puppy!”

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A woman was out golfing one day when she hit
the ball into the woods. She went into the woods
to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, “If you release me from this
trap, I will grant you three wishes.”

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said,
“Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was
a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for,
your husband will get times ten!”

The woman said, “That’s okay.” For her first wish,
she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world.

The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish
will also make your husband the most handsome
man in the world, an Adonis to whom women will flock.”

The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be
the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes
only for me.”

So, KAZAM-she’s the most beautiful woman
in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest
woman in the world. The frog said, “That will make
your husband the richest man in the world. And he
will be ten times richer than you.”

The woman said, “That’s okay, because what’s
mine is his and what’s his is mine.”

So, KAZAM-she’s the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she
answered, “I’d like a mild heart attack.”

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess
with them.

Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke
for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers, continue reading…

… … … … … … …

The man had a heart attack ten times MILDER
than his wife.

Moral of the story: Women think they’re so smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy
the show.

P.S. If you are a woman and are still reading this,
it only goes to show that women never listen!

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.