Jokes Journal

Welcome to Friday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Quotes About Getting Old
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Divorce Lawyer’s Judgement Day

* I much prefer being over the hill to being under it.
(Bruce Lansky)

* At my age I don’t care if my mind starts to wander,
just as long as it comes back again. (Mike Knowles)

* Middle age is when a narrow waist and a broad
mind begin to change places. (Glenn Dorenbush)

* When you can finally afford the rings you want,
you’d rather no one noticed your hands. (Lois Muehl)

* A man has reached middle age when he is warned
to slow down by his doctor instead of the police.
(Henny Youngman)

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A Chicago area divorce lawyer died and found his
way to the Pearly Gates.

Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit
entrance into Heaven?”

The lawyer thought for a moment and replied,
“Last month I gave a quarter to a homeless person
on the street.”

Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the
record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that
this was in fact true.

Saint Peter said, “Well , that’s fine, but that in itself
just isn’t enough to get you into Heaven.”

The lawyer quickly retaliated, “Wait, Wait! There’s
more. Four years ago I gave another homeless
person a quarter.”

Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment
nodded back, affirming this too had been verified.

Saint Peter, unsure of himself, whispered to Gabriel,
“Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?”

Gabriel gave the lawyer a sidelong glance, then said
to Saint Peter,

“Let’s give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell.”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.