Jokes Journal

Welcome to Friday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) The Lantern
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) The Cat

At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the
driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and
forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly
demonstrated how he’d done it. The court believed his
story, and the suit was dismissed.

“Congratulations,” the lawyer said to the engineer when
it was over. “You did superbly under cross-examination.”

“Thanks,” he said, “but the plaintiff’s lawyer sure had me
worried.”

“How’s that?” the lawyer asked.

“I was afraid he was going to ask if the lantern was lit!”

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A man absolutely hated his wife’s cat and decided to
get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from
his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting
home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away.
He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up
his driveway, there was the cat!

He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat
would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive
a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge,
then right again and another right until he reached what
he thought was a safe distance from his home and left
the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife:

“Jen, is the cat there?”

“Yes”, the wife answers, “why do you ask?”

Frustrated, the man answered, “Put that darned cat
on the phone. I’m lost and need directions!”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.