Jokes Journal

Welcome to Monday’s Edition of the Jokes Journal!

In today’s issue:

1) A Pregnant Woman
2) A Beautiful Bronze Sculpture

A pregnant woman is in a car accident and falls into
a deep coma.

Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees
that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks
the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, “Ma’am, you had twins! A boy
and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in
and named them.”

The woman thinks to herself, “Oh no, not my brother,
he’s an idiot!”

Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor,
“Well, what’s the girl’s name?”

“Denise,” the doctor says.

The new mother thinks, “Wow, that’s not a bad name!
Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!”

Then she asks the doctor, “What’s the boy’s name?”

The doctor replies, “Denephew.”

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A man goes into an antique store. After looking at most
of the articles for sale he spots a beautiful bronze sculpture
of a rat. The man is enthralled by the rat and takes it up
to the owner to buy it. “How much for the rat?” he asks
the proprietor.

“Ten bucks for the rat and a thousand bucks for the
story” says the owner.

“Keep the story, I’ll just take the rat” says the guy, who
then pays the owner and walks outside with the rat
under his arm.

Almost immediately a handful of rats fall in line behind
the man and his purchase. The further the man walks,
the more rats that congregate behind him. Eventually
there are so many rats that the man becomes afraid
and runs down to the river that cuts through the town.

At the edge of the river, with all the rats in town squealing
and milling around him, he throws the bronze rat as far
out into the river as he can. Without hesitation all the
rats in town jump into the river to follow the bronze rat
as it sinks to the bottom — and all of the rats drown.

After recovering from the ordeal, the man makes his
way back to the antique store.

“Aha!” says the store owner. “You came back for the
story about the rat.”

“Nope,” says the man. “I was just wondering if you
had a bronze lawyer…”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.