The Doberman and the Puppy
Tuesday, February 9th, 2010
Welcome to Tuesday’s Edition!
In today’s issue …
1) The Doberman and the Puppy
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) CEO Envelopes
The Doberman and the Puppy
A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar
in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked,
“Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman
tied outside to the parking meter?”
A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair
growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool,
looked down at the quivering little man and said,
“It’s my dog. Why?”
“Well,” squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous,
“I believe my dog just killed it, sir.”
“What?” roared the big man in disbelief. “What in the
hell kind of dog do you have?”
“Sir,” answered the little man, “it’s a little four week
old female puppy.”
“Bull!” roared the biker, “how could your puppy kill
my Doberman?”
“It appears that your dog choked on her, sir.”
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CEO Envelopes
A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large
high tech corporation.
The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately
and presented him with three numbered envelopes.
“Open one of these if you run up against a problem you
don’t think you can solve,” he said.
Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later,
sales took a downturn and he was really catching a lot of
heat. About at his wit’s end, he remembered the envelopes.
He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope.
The message read, “Blame your predecessor.”
The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid
the blame at the feet of the previous CEO.
Satisfied with his comments, the press — and Wall Street –
responded positively, sales began to pick up and the
problem was soon behind him.
About a year later, the company was again experiencing a
slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems.
Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO
quickly opened the second envelope. The message read,
“Reorganize.” This he did, and the company quickly
rebounded.
After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company
once again fell on difficult times. The CEO went to his office,
closed the door and opened the third envelope.
The message said, “Prepare three envelopes.”
Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.
