Welcome to Tuesday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Fast Drinker
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) A Common Bum

A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool.

The bartender looks at him and says, “What’ll it be, buddy?”

The man says, “Set me up with seven whiskey shots and
make them doubles.”

The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down,
then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone
almost as quickly as they were served.

Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he’s doing
all this drinking.

“You’d drink them this fast too if you had what I have.”

The bartender hastily asks, “What do you have, pal?”

The man quickly replies, “I have one dollar.”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

Start a Home Business Without a Huge Investment!
Work part time around your schedule. We train people
now to own their own home based business using a proven
system. Earn $500 – $5,000. We select only those who are
serious and are commited with a great work ethic.
http://bobWilson.theonlinebusiness.com

A robust-looking gentleman ate a fine meal at an expensive
restaurant and topped it off with some Napoleon brandy,
then he summoned the headwaiter.

“Do you recall,” he asked pleasantly, “how a year ago, I ate
just such a repast here and then, because I couldn’t pay for it,
you had me thrown into the alley like a common bum?”

“I’m very sorry sir…” began the contrite headwaiter.

“Oh, it’s quite all right.” said the guest, “but I’m afraid
I’ll have to trouble you again…”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Monday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Unpaid Bill
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Drunken Mixup

A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount
of goods totaling a great deal of money.

The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid.
The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying,

“We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.”

The next day the collections manager received a collect
phone call,

“Please cancel the order. We can’t wait that long.”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

“ClickBank For Newbies”
This is a quick easy read, written without hype and not
littered with annoying links. Also identifying how
commissions can be lost or stolen. This is a FREE guide.
http://www.ameri-mall.com/track/go.php?c=go3

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he
mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in
the car.

The bartender, concerned because it was so cold,
went to check on her.

When he looked inside the car, he saw a man kissing
drunk’s girlfriend.

The bartender shook his head and walked back inside.
He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good
idea to check on his girlfriend.

The drunk staggered outside to the car, saw the spectacle,
then walked back into the bar laughing.

“What’s so funny?” the bartender asked.

“That dumb Pete!” the drunk chortled, “He’s so drunk,
he thinks he’s me!”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Thursday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Customers …
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Just a Little Help

A man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers.
Once he is done the bartender tells him he owes $9.

“But I paid, don’t you remember?” says the customer.

“Okay,” says the bartender, “If you said you paid, you did.”

The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees
that the bartender can’t keep track of whether his customers
have paid.

The second man then rushes in, orders a beer and later pulls
the same stunt.

The barkeep replies, “If you say you paid, I’ll take your
word for it.”

Soon the customer goes into the street, sees an old friend,
and tells him how to get free drinks.

The man hurries into the bar and begins to drink high-balls
when, suddenly, the bartender leans over sand says,

“You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two
men were drinking beer, neither paid and both claimed that
they did. The next guy who tries that is going to get punched
right in the nose.”

“Don’t bother me with your troubles,” the final customer
responds. “Just give me my change and I’ll be on my way.”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

Earn Paychecks Before You Pay
You don’t have to pay anything upfront
to get started. No credit card, no paypal,
no nothing. Just sign up and go.
http://bit.ly/aVu8J4

A cavalryman was galloping down the road,
rushing to catch up with his regiment.

Suddenly his horse stumbled and pitched him
to the ground. Lying in the dirt with a broken leg,
terrified of the approaching enemy, the soldier
called out:

“All you saints in heaven, help me get up on my horse!”

Then, with superhuman effort, he leaped onto the
horse’s back and fell off the other side. Once again
on the ground, he called to the heavens:

“All right, just half of you this time!”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Wednesday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Quiet in Church
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) A Blind Man in Texas

Be Delicious voice improvement book
Step by Step guide that easily transforms your voice
Proven successful for hundreds of students
Get the voice you want get the life you want
Be the voice that everyone wants to hear
http://www.getdeliciousnow.com

A Sunday school teacher was talking to her young
pupils about how they should behave in church.

“Now,” she said, “who can tell me why you should
be quiet when you are sitting with your parents in
church?”

One little girl put up her hand.

“Yes, Jane, tell everyone why!” said the teacher.

Jane replied, “Because people are trying to sleep!”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

Former Truck Driver Retires At Age 33 Making $12,000 A Month
Join my team for free today to receive top-of-the-line
training & tools from one of the top earners in GDI.
I understand the importance of team building & DUPLICATION,
and that’s why I have so many affiliates. Let’s make some
money together! http://www.gdiresidualincome.ws

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas.
When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said,
“Wow, these seats are big!”

The person next to him answered, “Everything is big in
Texas.”

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar.
Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug
placed between his hands. He exclaimed, “Wow these
mugs are big!”

The bartender replied, “Everything is big in Texas.”

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender
where the bathroom was located.

The bartender replied, “Second door to the right.”

The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally
tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead,
he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming
pool and fell into the pool by accident.

Scared to death, the blind man started shouting,
“Don’t flush, don’t flush!”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Wednesday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Stealing Umbrellas
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) A Horse Walks into a Bar

Mrs. Burden told her husband that they had important guests
coming to dinner.

When he heard this, Mr. Burden immediatelly removed all the
umbrellas from the hall.

“Surely you don’t think that someone is going to steal them,”
said Mrs. Burden. “They are respectable people.”

“No,” said her husband, “but I’m afraid they might recognize
them.”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

You’ll have 100 team members on your team in 10 short days…
Or I’ll pay you $100 bucks! See how NOW…
Watch this life changing presentation by clicking here.

A horse walks into a bar, orders a beer, sits down at one
of the tables, and starts reading his paper. The bartender
is a bit shocked by all this, but pours the beer, and brings
it over to the horse, who proffers a ten dollar bill for it.

Now the barman figures the horse isn’t that bright, so he
decides to pull the old ’short-change’ trick on him.

He duly goes back to the horse with 1 dollar. The horse
doesn’t say a word.

The horse eventually finishes his beer and goes up to the
bar to order another. The bartender says to him,
“Y’know, we don’t get many horses in here.”

To which the horse replies, “At nine dollars a beer,
I’m not surprised!”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.