Jokes Journal

Welcome to Wednesday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Stupid People
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Pope’s Bear Hunt

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say,
“I’m Stupid”.

That way you wouldn’t rely on them, would you?
You wouldn’t ask them anything. It would be like,
“Excuse me, oops, never mind. I didn’t see your sign.”

…

It’s like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full
of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway.
My friend comes over and says “Hey, you’re moving?”

“Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week
to see how many boxes it takes. Here’s your sign.”

…

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure.
Wouldn’t ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge.
The truck got stuck and I couldn’t get it out no matter how
I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop
shows up to take the report.

He went through his basic questioning … ok … no problem.
I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign … until he
asked “So … is your truck stuck?”

I couldn’t help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the
rig and then back to him and said “No, I’m delivering a
bridge … here’s your sign.”

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The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit
the rugged mountains of Alaska. He was cruising
along the campground in the Pope Mobile when he
heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the
woods. He found a helpless Democrat wearing
shorts, sandals, a Vote for Obama hat and a
Save the Trees shirt. The man was screaming and
struggling frantically, thrashing all about and trying
to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly
bear.

As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican
loggers wearing Go Sarah shirts came racing up.
One quickly fired a 44 magnum slug right into the
bear’s chest. The two other men pulled the
semiconscious Democrat from the bear’s grasp.
Then using baseball bats, the three loggers finished off
the bear. Two of the men dragged the dead grizzly
onto the bed of their pickup truck while the other
tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they began to leave, the Pope summoned all of the
men over to him. “I give you my blessing for your brave
actions!” he proudly proclaimed. “I have heard there
was bitter hatred between Republican loggers and
Democratic environmental activists, but now I’ve seen
with my own eyes that this is not true.”

As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies,
“Who the heck was that guy?”

“Dude, that was was the Pope,” another replied.
“He’s in direct contact with Heaven and has access
to all wisdom.”

“Well,” the logger said, “he may have access to all
wisdom, but he doesn’t know squat about bear hunting!
By the way, is the bait still alive or do we need to go
back to Massachusetts and get another one?”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.