Welcome to Thursday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Blind Pilot
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) New Sport

Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for
the flight to leave. The entrance opens, and two men
walk up the aisle, dressed in pilots uniforms. Both are
wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog,
and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin; but the men
enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.

The passengers begin glancing nervously around,
searching for some sign that this just a little practical joke.
None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster
down the runway, and people at the windows realize that
they’re headed straight for the water at the edge of the
airport territory.

As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off,
that it will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the
cabin, but at that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air.

The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon
they have all retreated into their magazines, secure in the
knowledge that the plane is in good hands.

Up in the cockpit, the copilot turns to the pilot and says,
“You know, Bob, one of these days, they’re going to
scream too late, and we’re all gonna die…”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

Crack the code to making $1K/day! http://tinyurl.com/36qu2no
He Made $2,376.24 His 1st Month! http://tinyurl.com/237ja3w
Ezines Can Supercharge Ur Biz http://tinyurl.com/35hdsnh
Free Online ATM! http://www.smartmoneymakers1.com
Learn The Online Secrets Smartly! http://tinyurl.com/2v49uvh
Recession Buster, $245+/Day. http://www.smartmoneyelite.com

First man: My wife suggested that I take up a new
sport this summer.

Second man: Well, that’s nice. It shows that she has
your interests at heart. Did she make any suggestions?

First man: As a matter of fact, she did. By the way,
how do you play this Russian Roulette?

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Thursday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Who Keeps the Dog?
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) A Graduate Student in Psychology

A clergyman was walking down the street when he came
upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between
10 and 12 years of age.

The group surrounded a dog. Concerned that the boys
were hurting the dog, he went over and asked “What are
you doing with that dog?”

One of the boys replied, “This dog is just an old neighborhood
stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home.
So we’ve decided that whichever one of us can tell the
biggest lie will get to keep the dog.”

Of course, the Reverend was taken aback. “You boys
shouldn’t be having a contest telling lies!” he exclaimed.

He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying,
beginning, “Don’t you boys know it’s a sin to lie?” and
ending with, “When I was your age, I never told a lie.”

There was dead silence for about a minute.

The smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said,
“All right, give him the dog.”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

Unleash the Power of Ezines to Increase Sales!
Ezines Reach Thousands of Targeted Online Customers.
Ever thought of Using Ezines to Market Your Product?
Find the Perfect Ezines in Minutes. Save time.
Easy to use! Free Phone/Email Consulting & Free Ads Too!
http://bit.ly/d7jGUz

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman
sitting at the other end. After an hour of gathering up his
courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively,

“Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”

To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs,
“No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!”

By now, the entire bar is staring at them. Naturally, the guy
is completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and
apologizes. She smiles at him and says,

“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I’m a graduate
student in psychology and I’m studying how people
respond to embarrassing situations.”

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs,
“What do you mean $200?”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Thursday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Holy Land
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Cut Off the Tail!

A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation
to the Holy Land.

While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away.

The undertaker told them, “You can have her shipped
home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy
Land for $150″.

The man thought about it and told him he would just
have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked,

“Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law
home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and
spend only $150?”.

The man replied,

“A man died here 2000 years ago, was buried here, and
three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take
that chance”.

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

Are you tired of all the Diet Programs out there?
Tried them all… Been there, done that!
Take the first step to a new Healthier,
Stronger and Leaner You!
Don’t wait another minute to find out how!
http://bit.ly/cIFrSA

John took his Saint Bernard to the vet.

“Doctor,” he said sadly, “I’m afraid I’m going to have
to ask you to cut off my dog’s tail.”

The vet stepped back, “John, why should I do such a
terrible thing?”

“Because my mother-in-law is arriving tomorrow,
and I don’t want anything to make her think
she’s welcome.”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Wednesday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Who broke down the walls of Jericho?
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Violin Practice

The visiting Bible school supervisor asks Little Johnny during
Bible class, “Who broke down the walls of Jericho?”

Little Johnny replies, “I dunno, but it wasn’t me!”

The supervisor, taken aback by Johnny’s lack of basic Bible
knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole
incident.

The principal replies, “I know Little Johnny as well as his
whole family very well and can vouch for them; if Little Johnny
said that he did not do it, then I, as principal is satisfied that
it is the truth.”

Even more appalled, the inspector goes to the regional
Head of Education and relates the whole story…

After listening he replies:

“I can’t see why you are making such a big issue
out of this; just get three quotes and fix the wall!”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

Would $100,000 A Year For Only Working 5 Hours A Week
Change a Few Things? Even if you have Zero experience!
A simple 3 Step System anyone can follow.
Attend our Live Call, just dial 888-346-0933 for the details.
This is one call you do not want to miss!
http://www.yourprofitnow.com

Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room
while his father was trying to read in the den.

The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching
sounds of little Harold’s violin reached his ears, he began
to howl loudly.

The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he
could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the
floor and yelled above the noise,

“For pity’s sake, can’t you play something the dog
doesn’t know?”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Tuesday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Is it Love?
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Unusual Dog

Bill and Steve are discussing the possibility of love.

“I thought I was in love three times,” Bill says.

“Thought?” Steve asks. “What do you mean?”

“Three years ago, I cared very deeply for a woman who
wanted nothing to do with me,” Bill says.

“Wasn’t that love?” Steve asks.

“No, that was obsession,” Bill explains.

“Then two years ago, I cared very deeply for an attractive
woman who didn’t understand me.”

“Wasn’t that love?” asks Steve.

“No, that was lust,” Bill replies.

“And just last year, I met a woman while I was on a cruise.
She was gorgeous, intelligent, a great conversationalist and
had a super sense of humor. Everywhere I followed her on
that ship, I would get a very strange sensation in the pit of
my stomach.”

“Well, wasn’t that love?” asks Steve.

“No. That was motion sickness!” Bill replies.

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

Broke? Depressed? Angry? Well…Stop Whining and Suck it Up!
Use my website where first timers are doing $18 Grand
their 1st month. If you can’t immediately put $4 to $10
Grand in your pocket by doing this you’re hopeless!
Ref. ID BB17012. SAVE this ad. You can’t join without it!
http://4u2bn.com/me18

A duck hunter needed a new bird dog, so he found a dog
that could actually walk on water to retrieve the duck.

Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends
would ever believe him.

He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his,
a true pessimist, and invited him to hunt with him and
his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of
ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog
responded and jumped into the water.

The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked
across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting
more than his paws wet.

The friend saw everything but didn’t say a single word.

On the drive home the hunter asked his friend,
“Did you notice anything funny about my new dog?”

“I sure did,” responded his friend. “He can’t swim!”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.