Riding the Bike
Monday, June 15th, 2009
Welcome to Monday’s Edition!
In today’s issue …
1) Riding the Bike
2) Today’s Opportunities
3) The Chief Rabbi of Israel and the Pope
Riding the Bike
There was an old man who always rode his bike to his
brother’s house every weekend. It took him 2 hours and
he always made it by there by 2PM.
One day he tried to make it in 1 hour. Collapsing on a hill
from exhaustion, while sitting there, a Corvette pulls up and
asks him if he needs a ride. The man looks at his watch and
sees he would be late if not, but there is already a passenger,
so he asks how?
“No problem,” says the man in the Corvette, “I’ve got a
rope in the back and we’ll tie your bike to the back bumper
and you can ride.”
The man says, “Ok!”
They take off and the driver yells back, “Just yell BEEP BEEP
if I’m going to fast.”
“No problem,” the man thinks.
They come to an intersection and a Ferrari pulls up.
Sure enough, the light changes and THEY’RE OFF!
Anyway, the guy made it to his brothers on time and
the Vette lost.
Meanwhile, at the local police department …
“Hey guys, the weirdest thing just happened to me. A Ferrari
and a Vette just lost me at over 120 mph on Main Street.”
“What’s so weird about that?” asks the other cops.
The first cop says, “There was an old guy on a bike behind
them screaming BEEP BEEP and trying to pass …”
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The Chief Rabbi of Israel and the Pope
The Chief Rabbi of Israel and the Pope are in a meeting
in Rome. The Rabbi notices an unusally fancy phone on
a side table in the Pope’s private chambers.
“What is that phone for?” he asks the pontiff.
“It’s my direct line to the Lord.” The Rabbi is skeptical,
and the Pope notices. The Holy Father insists the Rabbi
try it out, and, indeed, he is connected to the Lord.
The Rabbi holds a lengthy discussion with Him.
After hanging up, the Rabbi says, “Thank you very much.
This is great! But listen, I want to pay for my phone
charges.”
The Pope, of course, refuses, but the Rabbi is steadfast
and finally, the pontiff gives in.
He checks the counter on the phone and says, “All right!
The charges were 40 euro. The Chief Rabbi gladly hands
over the payment.
A few months later, the Pope is in Jerusalem on an
official visit. In the Chief Rabbi’s chambers, he sees a
phone identical to his and learns it is also is a direct line
to the Lord.
The Pope remembers he has an urgent matter that requires
divine consultation and asks if he can use the Rabbi’s phone.
The Rabbi gladly agrees, hands him the phone, and the
Pope chats away.
After hanging up, the Pope offers to pay for the phone
charges. Of course, the Chief Rabbi refuses to accept
payment. After the Pope insists, the Rabbi relents and
looks on the phone counter … 42 cents.
The Pope looks surprised, “Why it’s so cheap?”
The Rabbi smiles, “Local call…”
Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.
