Car Accident
Monday, November 23rd, 2009
Welcome to Monday’s Edition!
In today’s issue …
1) Car Accident
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Heaven’s Ugliest
Car Accident
One day, while Maynard was out driving his car, he ran
into a truck. The truck’s driver made him pull over into a
parking lot and get out of the car.
The truck driver took a piece of chalk and drew a circle
on the pavement. He told Maynard to stand in the middle
and not leave the circle. Furious, the truck driver went
over to Maynard’s car and slashed the tires.
Maynard started laughing.
This made the truck driver angrier so he smashed
Maynard’s windshield.
This time Maynard laughed even harder.
Livid, the truck driver broke all Maynard’s windows and
keyed his car.
Maynard was now laughing hysterically, so the truck
driver asks him what’s so funny.
Maynard giggled and replied, “When you weren’t
looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!”
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Heaven’s Ugliest
Three men were waiting at Heaven’s Gate. St. Peter says,
“Okay, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but
whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of
eternity with the ugliest women in the universe.”
So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes
it a week before he lies about how wealthy he was on
Earth. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman
he had ever seen.
The second guy makes it another couple weeks before
he lies about how smart he is. Bam! At his side appears
the second ugliest woman in the universe.
So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters
of women when they see their third friend walking with the
hottest woman ever conceived by man.
The first two guys say in unison, “How did you end with
that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women?”
He nudges the babe and says, “Tell them.”
She says to the first two guys, “I lied.”
Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.
