The End is Near
Monday, March 12th, 2012
Welcome to Monday’s Edition of the Jokes Journal!
In today’s issue:
1) Male Assertiveness
2) The End is Near
Male Assertiveness
A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed
around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem,
and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read
on the way home.
He had finished the book by the time he reached
his house.
The man stormed into the house and walked up to
his wife.
Pointing a finger in her face, he said, “From now on,
I want you to know that I am the man of this house,
and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a
gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating
my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward.
Then, after dinner, you’re going to draw me my bath
so I can relax. And when I’m finished with my bath,
guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”
“The funeral director,” said his wife.
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The End is Near
A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing
by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads,
“The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s
too late!”
They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.
“Leave us alone you religious nuts!” yelled the first driver
as he sped by.
From around the curve they heard screeching tires and
a big splash.
“Do you think,” said one clergy to the other, “we should
just put up a sign that says ‘Bridge Out’ instead?”
Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.
