A Proud Father
Monday, November 28th, 2011
Welcome to Monday’s Edition!
In today’s issue …
1) Emergency Landing
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) A Proud Father
Emergency Landing
Two guys were sitting in a bar getting really drunk.
After awhile, just drinking gets boring, so the first guy
looks at the second guy and says, “Hey, you want to
go up for a ride in my airplane?”
The second guy says, “Wow, you have an airplane?
Let’s go!”
So they get some more beer and go for a tour around
the city in the plane. Eventually they get bored with this
too, so they decide to land. The drunk pilot starts circling
around looking for a place to land, and he sees an
airstrip close by. He says his new buddy along for the
ride, “Let’s land here. It looks like it’s as good a place
as any.”
So he circles around and goes in for a landing, but at
the last minute he swerves and pulls back up. “Damn!”
he says, “That is the SHORTEST runway I have ever
seen! How in hell is anyone supposed to land on it?”
But since it’s the only runway nearby, he decides to
try again, with the same result.
Getting pretty irritated, the pilot says to his friend,
“All right, I’m going to try ONE more time, and if
I can’t land it we’re just going to crash and hope
we don’t die.”
So they end up crashing, and miraculously neither
is hurt.
When they crawl out of the wreckage, the first guy
is still swearing and gesticulating wildly at the runway.
“I’m gonna find whoever designed this crazy runway
and wring his neck! He must be total moron! No one
could land on anything that short!”
The second guy looks around and says,
“Yeah, but look how wide it is!”
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A Proud Father
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife
Mother of Six in spite of her objections.
One night they go to a party. The man decides that it’s time
to go home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave
as well. He shouts at the top of his voice,
“Shall we go home, Mother of Six?”
His wife, irritated by her husbands lack of discretion shouts
back… “Anytime you’re ready, Father of Four!”
Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.
