Welcome to Wednesday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) The Talking Frog
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Pulling The Salesman’s Leg

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog
called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into
a beautiful princess”.

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and
turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with
you for one week.”

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it
and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back
into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do ANYTHING
you want.”

Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and
put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you
I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week
and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”

The engineer said, “Look I’m an engineer. I don’t have
time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool.”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

Make More…by Doing LESS!
If I could show you a system where this is possible, would
you give me 5 minutes of your time? If so, your five minutes
begin when you click HERE
http://www.trainyourselfforwealth.com

“Is your mother at home?” the salesman asked a small
boy sitting on the front step of a house.

“Yes, she’s at home,” the boy answered, moving over
to let him pass.

The salesman rang the doorbell, got no answer, knocked
once, then again. Still no one came to the door.

Turning to the boy, the salesman said,
“I thought you said your mother was at home.”

The boy replied, “She is, but I don’t live here.”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Tuesday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Letter From Mom
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Job Interview

Need Help With Huge Medical Bills?

Most people don’t know they can get help for medical
bills. So, billions of dollars go unclaimed each year.
Get the money that you deserve. Find out now. Visit:
==> http://8020shortcuts.com/amktop2bills4medical

When the man came home, his wife was crying.

“Your mother insulted me,” she sobbed.

“My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation
on the other side of the world?” the man asked.

“I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived.
I opened it because I was curious.”

“And?”

“At the end of the letter it was written:

P.S. Diane, when you have finished reading this letter,
don’t forget to give it to my son.”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

“Finally Revealed… The 7-Figure List Building Tactics
Of Wealthy Super Affiliates!” Find out how you can flood
your mailing list with hyper-responsive subscribers.
Give your affiliate campaigns an instant boost with
a powerful ‘automated system’
http://tinyurl.com/3nrkk9b

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources
Person asked a young engineer who was fresh out of MIT,

“What starting salary were you thinking about?”

The engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year,
depending on the benefits package.”

The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package
of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental,
company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a
company car leased every 2 years – say, a red Corvette?”

The engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?”

The interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Friday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) An Engineer Dies
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Stupid People

An engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon,
the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of
comfort in hell, and starts designing and building
improvements.

After a while, they’ve got air conditioning, flush toilets
and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and
says with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there
in hell?”

Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got
air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators,
and there’s no telling what this engineer is going
to come up with next.”

God replies, “What? You’ve got an engineer?
That’s a mistake, he should never have gotten
down there; send him up here.”

Satan says, “No way. I like having an engineer
on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”

God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue you.”

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah, right.
And just where are you going to get a lawyer?”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

Don’t Have Enough Leads? Do you want Guaranteed Results?
You Can submit your ad in its entirety to Our database of
Hot leads. That’s what we call moving alot of information into
the hands of people who are interested in purchasing YOUR
products and YOUR services! Get The Best Results for FREE
Get Better Results Click Here.

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say,
“I’m Stupid”.

That way you wouldn’t rely on them, would you?
You wouldn’t ask them anything. It would be like,
“Excuse me, oops, never mind. I didn’t see your sign.”

….

It’s like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full
of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway.
My friend comes over and says “Hey, you’re moving?”

“Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week
to see how many boxes it takes. Here’s your sign.”

….

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure.
Wouldn’t ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge.
The truck got stuck and I couldn’t get it out no matter how
I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop
shows up to take the report.

He went through his basic questioning … ok … no problem.
I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign … until he
asked “So … is your truck stuck?”

I couldn’t help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the
rig and then back to him and said “No, I’m delivering a
bridge … here’s your sign.”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Monday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) The Lawyer and the Rancher
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Farmer in a Big City

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit
filed by an old rancher. The rancher’s prize bull was missing
from the section through which the railroad passed.
The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the
train, and wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.

The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the
peace in the back room of the general store.

As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the
railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out
of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the
rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.

After the rancher had signed the release and took the check,
the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his
success, telling the rancher,

“You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one
over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The
engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose
when the train went through your ranch that morning.
I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”

The old rancher replied,

“Well, I’ll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about
winning that case myself, because that darned bull came
home this morning …”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

Get access to public records.
Here: http://bit.ly/czZ38z
Other opportunities available.

A farmer, who went to a big city to see the sights,
asked the hotel’s clerk about the time of meals.

“Breakfast is served from 7 to 11, dinner from
12 to 3, and supper from 6 to 8,” explained the clerk.

“Look here,” inquired the farmer in surprise,
“when am I going to get time to see the city?”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Wednesday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) A Trial for Murder
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) The Oldest Profession

Write 500 niche ads in less than 3 minutes!
No matter what program you are in…
You need to drive massive traffic to that blog or website…
And to do this without going broke…
I use this to create MASSIVE TRAFFIC…
http://www.hypertracker.com/go/gyoumans/TOPAD/

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong
evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse.

In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing
that his client would probably be convicted, resorted
to a trick:

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for
you all,” the lawyer said as he looked at his watch.
“Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this
case will walk into this courtroom.”

He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors,
somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute
passed. Nothing happened.

Finally the lawyer said, “Actually, I made up the previous
statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore
put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case
as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return
a verdict of not guilty.”

The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few
minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict
of guilty.

“But how?” inquired the lawyer. “You must have had
some doubt, I saw all of you stare at the door.”

The jury foreman replied:

“Oh, we did look, but your client didn’t.”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

Mobile Monopoly is LIVE!
Adam’s letting you grab the full Mobile Monopoly course
showing how he consistently makes $1,005.12 a day
putting easy little ads on CELL PHONES. Don’t wait!
You can literally be earning this afternoon.
http://budurl.com/qzu5

A doctor, an engineer, and a management consultant
were arguing about what was the oldest profession
in the world.

The doctor started. “Well, in the Bible, it says that
God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam’s body.
This must have required surgery, and so I can claim
with a high degree of confidence that mine is the
oldest profession in the world.”

The engineer responded, and said, “But earlier in the
book of Genesis, it states that God created the order
of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos.
This was the first and certainly the most impressive
application of civil engineering. Therefore, doc,
you are wrong: mine is surely the oldest profession
in the world.”

The management consultant leaned back in his chair,
smiled, and then said confidently,

“Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.