Where is Jesus Today?
Tuesday, December 13th, 2011
Welcome to Tuesday’s Edition!
In today’s issue …
1) Where is Jesus Today?
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Living Together
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Where is Jesus Today?
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned
that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ
because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth.
He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of
Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc.
So he asked his class, “Where is Jesus today?”
Johnny raised his hand and said, “He’s in heaven.”
Mary was called on and answered, “He’s in my heart.”
Robert, waving his hand furiously, blurted out,
“I know! I know! He’s in our bathroom!”
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher,
and waited for a response.
The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very
long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked
Robert how he knew this.
Robert said, “Well…..every morning my father gets up,
bangs on the bathroom door, and yells ‘Jesus Christ,
are you still in there?’”
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Living Together
A Jewish man lives into a Catholic neighbourhood.
Every Friday the Catholics are driven crazy because,
while they’re morosely eating fish, the Jew is outside
barbecuing steaks. So the Catholics work on the Jew
to convert him to Catholicism.
Finally, after many threats and much pleading,
the Catholics succeed. They take the Jew to a priest
who sprinkles holy water on the Jew and says,
“Born a Jew, raised a Jew, now a Catholic.”
The Catholics are ecstatic. No more delicious, but
maddening smells every Friday evening.
But the next Friday evening, the scent of barbecue
wafts through the neighbourhood.
The Catholics all rush to the Jew’s house to remind
him of his new diet. They see him standing over the
cooking steak.
He is sprinkling water on the meat and saying,
“Born a cow, raised a cow, now a fish.”
Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.
