What Would You Do?
Wednesday, April 25th, 2012
Welcome to Wednesday’s Edition of the Jokes Journal!
In today’s issue:
1) Stupid People
2) What Would You Do?
Stupid People
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say,
“I’m Stupid”.
That way you wouldn’t rely on them, would you?
You wouldn’t ask them anything. It would be like,
“Excuse me, oops, never mind. I didn’t see your sign.”
….
It’s like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full
of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway.
My friend comes over and says “Hey, you’re moving?”
“Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week
to see how many boxes it takes. Here’s your sign.”
….
I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure.
Wouldn’t ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge.
The truck got stuck and I couldn’t get it out no matter how
I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop
shows up to take the report.
He went through his basic questioning … ok … no problem.
I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign … until he
asked “So … is your truck stuck?”
I couldn’t help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the
rig and then back to him and said “No, I’m delivering a
bridge … here’s your sign.”
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What Would You Do?
A middle-aged man returns home from a business trip
a day early, concerned that his wife may be having
an affair. He’s riding in a taxi at about 2:00 in the
morning back towards his house, when he explains
his situation to the taxi driver.
It’s after midnight. While en route home he asks
the cabby if he would be a witness.
He explains to the cabbie that he suspects his wife
is sleeping around on him, and offers the him $50
if he would be a witness to the affair, if he could
catch her in bed with him. By the time they reach
his house, the cabbie agrees.
They park a few doors down and, quietly, sneak
into the front door and up the stairs. Then, with a
burst of speed, the husband flicks on the bedroom
lights and rips the blanket off the bed – and there
his wife lies in bed with another man!
Out of his coat pocket, the visibly distraught husband
pulls out a gun and puts it to the man’s head.
Just then, his wife yells “Don’t do it! I lied when I told
you I inherited all that money!
HE paid for the Mercedes I gave you.
HE paid for our new cabin in the mountains.
HE paid for your Atlanta Braves season tickets.
HE paid for our our lakehouse and boat.
HE paid for your country club membership,
and and HE even pays the monthly dues!”
Shaking his head, unsure of whether to pull the trigger,
he looks over at the taxi driver and asks
“What should I do?”
The taxi driver replies, “I’d cover him with that blanket
before he catches a cold.”
Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.
