Congratulations
Monday, July 5th, 2010
Welcome to Monday’s Edition!
In today’s issue …
1) Congratulations
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Bill Gates in Heaven
Congratulations
An Army major was conducting a field test when
communications went dead. Immediately, he jumped
into a jeep and ordered a sergeant to speed to the
command station.
When he and the sergeant ran in, the group cheered
their arrival. The commanding officer then stepped forward
and shook the major’s hand.
“Don’t congratulate me, sir,” he said modestly as he pointed
to his driver. “It was all the sergeant’s doing.”
The commanding officer nodded and turned to the sergeant.
“Congratulations,” he said. “The major’s wife just had
a baby girl.”
Get a BREAK now and let us present
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Bill Gates in Heaven
Bill Gates died and went to Heaven.
St Peter showed him to his house, a small cottage on a tiny
plot in the woods. The closets were full of simple but
servicable clothing, and the kitchen was stocked with
the basic needs. Bill slowly settled into a modest and
quiet life in Heaven.
One day, Bill was walking in one of Heaven’s many fine
parks, when he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit.
“That is a nice suit, my friend,” said Gates. “Where did
you get it?”
“Actually,” the man replied, “I was given a hundred of
these when I got here. I’ve been treated really well.
I got a mansion on a hill overlooking a beautiful lake.
I have a huge five-hundred acre estate, a golf course,
tennis courts and three Rolls Royces.”
“Were you the Pope, or a doctor who healed the sick?”
asked Gates.
“No,” said his new friend, “Actually, I was the captain
of the Titanic.”
Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately
stalked off to find St. Peter.
Cornering St. Peter, Bill told him about the man he had
just met, saying, “How could you give me a paltry new
house, while you’re showering new cars, a mansion,
and fine suits on the Captain of the Titanic? I invented
the Windows operating system! Why does he deserve better?”
“Yes, we even use Windows here in Heaven,” replied
St Peter, “but, you know, the Titanic only crashed once…”
Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.
