A Cheap Jaguar
Wednesday, October 26th, 2011
Welcome to Wednesday’s Edition!
In today’s issue …
1) Bill Gates in Heaven
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) A Cheap Jaguar
Bill Gates in Heaven
Bill Gates died and went to Heaven.
St Peter showed him to his house, a small cottage on a tiny
plot in the woods. The closets were full of simple but
servicable clothing, and the kitchen was stocked with
the basic needs. Bill slowly settled into a modest and
quiet life in Heaven.
One day, Bill was walking in one of Heaven’s many fine
parks, when he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit.
“That is a nice suit, my friend,” said Gates. “Where did
you get it?”
“Actually,” the man replied, “I was given a hundred of
these when I got here. I’ve been treated really well.
I got a mansion on a hill overlooking a beautiful lake.
I have a huge five-hundred acre estate, a golf course,
tennis courts and three Rolls Royces.”
“Were you the Pope, or a doctor who healed the sick?”
asked Gates.
“No,” said his new friend, “Actually, I was the captain
of the Titanic.”
Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately
stalked off to find St. Peter.
Cornering St. Peter, Bill told him about the man he had
just met, saying, “How could you give me a paltry new
house, while you’re showering new cars, a mansion,
and fine suits on the Captain of the Titanic? I invented
the Windows operating system! Why does he deserve better?”
“Yes, we even use Windows here in Heaven,” replied
St Peter, “but, you know, the Titanic only crashed once…”
Get a BREAK now and let us present
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A Cheap Jaguar
An advert in a local newspaper offered a brand-new Jaguar
for sale for only 100 bucks.
On spotting this, a keen motorist decided to call round to
the address given. He arrived to find a very large house
in a wealthy area.
The door was opened by an attractive woman in her late
forties who showed him the Jaguar, which was indeed
brand-new.
Of course he snapped it up and after handing over the one
hundred bill asked
“Why are you selling this car so cheaply? You could
probably have got at least 50,000 for it.”
“Well,” the woman explained, “my husband died recently
and in his will he left strict instructions that the proceeds
from the sale of his car were to go to his 20-year-old
secretary…”
Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.
