Shirley’s Makeover
Friday, July 22nd, 2011
Welcome to Friday’s Edition!
In today’s issue …
1) Shirley’s Makeover
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Leaving Prison
Shirley’s Makeover
A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills.
One day, she had a heart attack and was taken
to Cedars Sinai hospital.
While on the operating table, she had a near-death
experience. She saw God and asked, “Is this it?”
God said, “No, you have another 30 to 40 years to live.”
Upon her recovery, she decided to stay in the hospital
and have collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift,
liposuction and breast augmentation. She even had
someone dye her hair. She figured since she had
another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make
the most of it.
She walked out of Cedars Sinai lobby after the last
operation and was killed by an ambulance speeding
up to the hospital.
She arrived in front of God and said, “I thought you
said I had another 30 to 40 years?”
God replied, “Shirley! I didn’t recognize you!”
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Leaving Prison
An inmate went to see the prison doctor and was
dismayed to be told that he needed to have one of
his kidneys removed.
“Look,” said the prisoner, “you’ve already whipped out
my tonsils, my adenoids, my spleen and my gall-bladder,
and now you want my kidney? I only came to you in the
first place to see if you could get me out of here!”
The doctor was unruffled.
“And that’s exactly what I’m doing,” he answered,
“bit by bit.
Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.
