Jokes Journal

Welcome to Friday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Very Expensive Monkeys
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Housework Challenged

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the
animals on display. While he was there, another customer
walked in and went over to a cage at the side of the shop
and took out a monkey.

He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying,
“That’ll be $5000.” The customer paid and walked out with
his monkey.

Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said,
“That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only
a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?”

The shopkeeper answered, “Ah, that monkey can program
in C – very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money.”

The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage.
“That one’s even more expensive – $10,000! What does it do?”

“Oh, that one’s a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented
programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All the really
useful stuff,” said the shopkeeper.

The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third
monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck
read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, “That one
costs more than all the others put together! What on earth
does it do?”

The shopkeeper replied, “Well, I haven’t actually seen it
do anything, but it says it’s a consultant.”

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One day my housework-challenged husband decided to
wash his sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted
to me, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?”

“It depends,” I replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”

He yelled back, “University of Auburn.”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.