Welcome to Tuesday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Corruption
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Stupid Cops

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting
attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed,
“that you accepted $5,000 to compromise this case?”

The witness stared out the window as though he hadn’t
hear the question.

“Isn’t it true that you accepted $5,000 to compromise
this case?” the lawyer repeated.

The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said,
“Sir, please answer the question.”

“Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was
talking to you.”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

Solo Ads * Guaranteed Hits * Automated Follow-Up
Interested in selling advertising, targeted marketing and
complete copywriting services to entrepreneurs that must
have it right now? Rake in money as an affiliate, with very
generous commissions. You earn even on your own orders!
http://www.BusinessTrainingService.com/advertising.html

One evening, two Alabama State Trooper patrol cars
were in hot pursuit of a Chevy Camaro going east on
I-20 toward Georgia.

When the suspect vehicle crossed the Georgia line,
the first Trooper pulled over quickly.

The rookie Trooper pulled over right behind him and
asked, “Hey Sarge, why the heck did you stop?
We almost had that guy and his girlfriend.”

The Sarge replied, “You stupid rookie! That Camaro
is in Georgia now. They are an hour ahead of us,
so we’ll never be able to catch ‘em.”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Tuesday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Didn’t do it …
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Divorce

One day a man comes home from work to find total
mayhem at home. The kids were outside still in their
pajamas playing in the mud and muck. There were
empty food boxes and wrappers all around.

As he proceeded into the house, he found an even
bigger mess. Dishes on the counter, dog food spilled
on the floor, a broken glass under the table, and a
small pile of sand by the back door. The family room
was strewn with toys and various items of clothing,
and a lamp had been knocked over. He headed up
the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife.

He was becoming worried that she may be ill, or that
something had happened to her. He found her in the
bedroom, still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a
book. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how
his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked,
“What happened here today?”

She again smiled and answered, “You know everyday
when you come home from work and ask me what
I did today?”

“Yes,” was his reply.

She said, “Well, today I didn’t do it!”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

One Robot to Rule Them All…
He’s EVO2, and this is being called the
New World Order of SEO Automation.
http://www.TopSecretCopywriter.com/EVO2

Mr. Quinn, I have reviewed this case very carefully,”
the divorce court judge said. “And, I have decided
to give your wife $775 a week.”

“That’s very fair, your honor,” the husband said.
“And every now and then, I’ll try to send her a few
bucks myself.”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Monday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) They Are Taught to Be That Way
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Jury Duty

One day in Law School, the teacher asked one of his
better students, “Now if you were to give someone an
orange, how would you go about it?”

The student replied, “Here’s an orange.”

The teacher was livid.

“No! No! You are supposed to be learning to think like
a lawyer!” the teacher instructed.

The student thought for a few moments and then made
his teacher proud.

“Okay, I’d tell him, ‘I hereby give and convey to you all
and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title,
claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with
all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and
advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and
otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with
and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything
herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds,
instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever
to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding …”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

Just Copy and Paste
Could you think of anything easier than that?
I’m paid multiple $37 payments to my account!
You can get money just as easily as me.
There’s nothing complicated to do.
http://al-be2.com

A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted
to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he
could think of but none of them worked.

On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot.
As the trial was about to begin he asked if he could
approach the bench.

“Your Honor,” he said, ” I must be excused from this trial
because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one
look at the man in the blue suit with those beady eyes and
that dishonest face and I said ‘He’s a crook! He’s guilty,
guilty, guilty’ So your Honor, I could not possibly stay
on this jury!”

The judge replied, “Get back in the jury box. You are just
the kind of juror we are looking for — a good judge of
character. That man is his lawyer.”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Friday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) The Sentence
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) A Chemistry Lesson

A judge looked severely at the defendant and asked

“How many times have you been imprisoned?”

“Nine, your Honour.”

“Nine? In this case, I will give you the maximum sentence.”

“Maximum sentence?” said the defendant. “Don’t you give
your regular clients a discount?”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

Online Loophole Revealed…You Will Always Win!

Online Loopholes is a set of techniques and tools
that show you how to make guaranteed profits
through the bookmakers and betting exchanges.
Click here.

A chemistry teacher wanted to teach his fifth-grade class
a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an
experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of
whiskey and two worms.

“Now, class. Observe the worms closely,” said the teacher,
putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water
writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.

The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed
painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a
doornail.

“Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?”
the teacher asked.

Johnny, who sits in the back, raised his hand and
responded, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms?”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Tuesday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Lacking All Religion
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Multiple Break-ins

A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently
came upon a farmer working in his field.

Being concerned about the farmer’s soul the preacher
asked the man,

“Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord,
my good man?”

Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his
work the farmer replied, “Naw, these are soybeans.”

“You don’t understand,” said the preacher. “Are you a
Christian?”

With the same amount of interest as his previous answer
the farmer said, “Nope my name is Jones. You must be
lookin’ for Jim Christian. He lives a mile south of here.”

The young determined preacher tried again asking the
farmer, “Are you lost?”

“Naw! I’ve lived here all my life,” answered the farmer.

“Are you prepared for the resurrection?” the frustrated
preacher asked.

This caught the farmer’s attention and he asked,
“When’s it gonna be?”

Thinking he had accomplished something the young
preacher replied, “It could be today, tomorrow, or the
next day.”

Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping
his brow, the farmer remarked, “Well, don’t mention it
to my wife. She don’t get out much and she’ll wanna go
all three days.”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

NEVER WORRY AGAIN about spending time & money
building an email list, doing PPC or anything …
All you need is a big number of followers on Twitter.
Discover my SECRET TACTICS on how I got over
74,000 followers in only 11 weeks.

You admit having broken into the dress shop
four times?” asked the judge.

“Yes,” answered the suspect.

“And what did you steal?”

“A dress, Your Honor,” replied the subject.

“One dress?” echoed the judge. “But you admit
breaking in four times!”

“Yes, Your Honor,” sighed the suspect. “The first
three times, my wife didn’t like the color.”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.