Welcome to Wednesday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Error Messages You Don’t Want to See
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) The Store Manager

An error has occurred – could be anything really.

Three things are certain: death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred?

Error: An unspecified error has occurred. Please
correct the error to continue.

Access denied — nah nah na nah nah!

Out of memory – it happens to us all eventually.

Your computer has performed an illegal operation.
The police have been informed.

Printer not ready. Could be a fatal error. Have you
a pen handy?

Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

You Cannot Afford to Miss This
New program that you’ve never seen anywhere before.
WAZZUB is the first global community that pays its members
just for joining. My recommendation for Success & Happiness.
Read all the important facts about the WAZZUB Family:
http://signup.wazzub.info/?lrRef=DaRz9

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer,

“No, ma’am, we haven’t had any for some weeks now,
and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any soon.”

Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over
to the customer who was walking out the door and said,

“That isn’t true, ma’am. Of course, we’ll have some soon.
In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago.”

Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled,

“Never, never, never say we don’t have something. If we
don’t have it, say we ordered it and it’s on its way. Now,
what was it she wanted?”

The clerk smiled and said, “Rain…”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Wednesday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) A Blind Man in Texas
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Unpaid Bill

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas.
When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said,
“Wow, these seats are big!”

The person next to him answered, “Everything is big in
Texas.”

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar.
Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug
placed between his hands. He exclaimed, “Wow these
mugs are big!”

The bartender replied, “Everything is big in Texas.”

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender
where the bathroom was located.

The bartender replied, “Second door to the right.”

The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally
tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead,
he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming
pool and fell into the pool by accident.

Scared to death, the blind man started shouting,
“Don’t flush, don’t flush!”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

Internet Marketing for Newbies
Complete Guide: over 120 Training Videos
Click here!

A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount
of goods totaling a great deal of money.

The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid.
The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying,

“We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.”

The next day the collections manager received a collect
phone call,

“Please cancel the order. We can’t wait that long.”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Friday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Two Lucky Patients
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Heart Surgeon

In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks
two of its most reformed patients and questions them.
If they get the questions right they are free to leave.

This year the two lucky patients were Patty and Mike.
They were called down to the office and left there by the
orderly. They were told to wait as the doctor got their files.

The doctor came out and motioned for Patty to come in for
her questioning. When Patty came into the office she was
instructed to sit in the seat across from the doctor.

“Patty, you know the tradition of this institution so I imagine
you know why you are here. You will be asked two
questions, and if you get them right, you will be free to go.
Do you understand all that you have been told?” said the
doctor with a rather sly grin. Patty nodded, and the doctor
began to question her.

The first question was this. “Patty, if I was to poke out one
of your eyes, what would happen?” “I would be half blind
of course,” Patty answered without much thought.

“What would happen if I poked out the other eye?”

“I would be completely blind,” said Patty knowing that she
had just gotten her freedom. The doctor then sent her outside
while he drew up the paperwork and accessed Mike’s files.

When Patty got into the waiting room however, she told
Mike what the questions would be and what the correct
answers were. The doctor calls in Mike and he followed
the same procedure that he had with Patty.

“Mike, the first question is what would happen if I cut off
your ear?” “I would be blind in one eye,” he said remembering
what he had been told. This received a perplexed look from
the doctor but he just simply asks the other question so that
he could figure out what the man was thinking.

“Mike, what would happen if I cut off your other ear?”

“I would be completely blind,” he answered with a smile
as if he knew he had passed.

But then the doctor asked him what his reasoning was,
he said flatly,

“Me hat would fall down over me eyes.”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

See how a newbie made $10,000 last week with no list.
Get a sheet of paper, a pen, a coffee or drink,
prepare to listen and watch this 25 minute message.
http://www.empowernetwork.com/almostasecret.php?id=philbert

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor
of a Harley, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon
in his shop. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service
manager to come take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, “Doc, can I ask
you a question?”

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the
mechanic working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag
and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open
it up, take valves out, fix’em, put in new parts and when I
finish this will work just like a new one. So how come I get
a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and
I are doing basically the same work?”

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered
to the mechanic, “Try doing it while it’s running.”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Thursday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Flat Tire
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Holy Land

A software manager, a hardware manager, and a marketing
manager are driving to a meeting when a tire blows.

They get out of the car and look at the problem.

The software manager says, “I can’t do anything about this.
It’s a hardware problem.”

The hardware manager says, “Maybe if we turned the car
off and on again, it would fix itself.”

The marketing manager says, “Hey, 75% of it is working.
Let’s ship it!”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Priority Classified Ads

Just Been Paid – So Easy A Baby Can Do It
Guaranteed to make a profit, daily withdrawals, indefinitely
sustainable, no sponsoring requirements, JSS-Tripler’s
design overcomes the common drawbacks of other HYIP
http://tinyurl.com/74t3kzf

A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation
to the Holy Land.

While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away.

The undertaker told them, “You can have her shipped
home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy
Land for $150″.

The man thought about it and told him he would just
have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked,

“Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law
home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and
spend only $150?”.

The man replied,

“A man died here 2000 years ago, was buried here, and
three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take
that chance”.

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Thursday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Misleading Advertising
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Customers Service in Banks

“I’m surprised at you,” said the manager. “Do you know
what we do with a boy who tells lies?”

“Yes, sir,” said the office boy. “When he is old enough,
the company sends him out as a salesman.”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

This free website sucks in dozens of new subscribers daily.
Just refer a few friends and you get a special viral website
that sucks in subscribers 5 times better than anything
I’ve *ever* tried.
Click below to get your free Siphon website and join me!
http://vur.me/s/addmarketxtreme

My aunt passed away this past January. Her bank billed
her for February and March for their monthly service
charge on her credit card, and then added late fees
and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had
been $0, but had now grown to somewhere around $60.

I placed the following phone call to the bank:

Me: “I am calling to tell you that she died in January.”

Bank: “The account was never closed and the late fees
and charges still apply.”

Me: “Maybe, you should turn it over to collections…”

Bank: “Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been.”

Me: “So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?”

Bank: “Either report her account to the frauds division,
or report her to the credit bureau… maybe both!”

Me: “Do you think God will be mad at her?”

Bank: “Do I think God… excuse me, what did you say?”

Me: “Do you understand what I was telling you…
specifically the part about her being… dead?”

Bank: “Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor!”

(Supervisor gets on the phone)

Me: “I’m calling to tell you, she died in January.”

Bank: “The account was never closed and the late fees
and charges still apply.”

Me: “You mean you want to collect from her estate?”

Bank: “… (stammer)” … “Are you her lawyer?”

Me: “No, I’m her great nephew, but feel free to contact
her lawyer at: …”

Bank: “Could you fax us a certificate of death?”

Me: “Sure.”

(Later, after they have gotten the fax)

Bank: “Our system just isn’t set up to handle this…”

Me: “Oh…”

Bank: “I don’t know what more I can do to help…”

Me: “Well… if you figure it out, great! If not, you could
just keep billing her… I suppose… don’t really think
she will care…”

Bank: “Well… the late fees and charges do still apply.”

Me: “Would you like her new billing address?”

Bank: “That might help.”

Me: “Fredrickson Memorial Cemetery, Hwy 19 and
plot number 233.”

Bank: “Sir, that’s a cemetery!”

Me: “Yes sir, that’s what we do with our departed
loved ones…”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.