Car Thieves
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
Welcome to Thursday’s Edition!
In today’s issue …
1) A Young Minister
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Car Thieves
A Young Minister
As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold
a grave-side service for a homeless man, with no family or
friends, who had died while traveling through the area. The
funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country,
and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost;
and being a typical man I did not stop for directions. I finally
arrived an hour late.
I saw the crew, eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in
sight. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped
to the side of the open grave, where I saw the vault lid already
in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them long but
this was the proper thing to do.
The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured
out my heart and soul. As I preached, the workers began to say
“Amen,” “Praise the Lord,” and “Glory,” I preached, and I
preached, like I’d never preached before: from Genesis all the
way to Revelations.
I closed the lengthy service with a prayer and walked to my
car. I felt I had done my duty for the homeless man and that
the crew would leave with a renewed sense of purpose and
dedication, in spite of my tardiness.
As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard
one of the workers saying to another, “I ain’t never seen
anything like this before… and I’ve been putting in septic tanks
for twenty years.”
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Car Thieves
A drunk phoned the local police department to report
that thieves had been in his car.
“They have stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel,
the brake pedal, even the accelerator,” he cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start,
the phone rang a second time, and the same voice
came over the line.
“Never mind,” the drunk said with a hiccup. “I got in
the back seat by mistake.”
Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.
