Welcome to Monday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Wandering Around the Campus of a College
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Hammer Fall

A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college
looking for the library.

He approaches a student and asked, “Excuse me,
young man. Would you be good enough and tell me
where the library is at?”

The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone,
replied, “I’m sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught
never to end a sentence with a preposition!”

The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone
replied, “I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase
my question. Would you be good enough to tell me
where the library is at, dummy?”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

A Perfect, No Cost/No Risk way to earn money online
You see, I have this business setup to run 100% on AutoPilot
Yep… I just let the system do all the work for me like
explaining, closing all my sales and getting me paid! Go to:
http://www.PaidTodayNow.org

Little Johnny came downstairs bellowing lustily.

His mother asked, “What’s the matter now?”

“Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb
with a hammer,” said Johnny through his tears.

“That’s not so serious,” soothed his mother.
“I know you’re upset, but a big boy like you
shouldn’t cry at something like that.
Why didn’t you just laugh?”

“I did!” sobbed Johnny.

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Thursday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Just before Christmas
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Split Luggage

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous
lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a
very posh hotel.

Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill
lying on the floor.

Which one picked it up?

Santa of course, because the other two don’t exist!

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Priority Classified Ads

You’ll never settle for anything less than …
Instant 100% Commissions. Deposited Into YOUR Bank Account.
You only need 1 opt-in to break even. People who never
sold online before are making real money with this system.
Are you serious about lasting long term residual income?
See what the buzz is about: http://lnk.ms/WfTqk

A student was flying home to London from Edinburgh.

At the check-in, he said to the operator, “Now I want
you to send my black case to London and my blue case
to Amsterdam.”

The check-in operator replied, “I’m sorry sir, we can’t
do that!”

“Oh really,” said the student, “that’s what you did the
last time I flew with you!”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Friday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Writing Home
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) A Camping Trip

One woman was bragging to her next-door neighbor
about her son, a college student at the University of Illinois.

“Our son is so brilliant, every time we get a letter from
him we have to go to the dictionary.”

“You’re lucky,” the neighbor said. “Every time we get a
letter from our son in college, we have to go to the bank!”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

==> Targeted Traffic For Your Website … For Free?
Get mass exposure to your target market with your own viral
ads & solo mailings on the Internet’s most powerful &
revolutionary new advertising tool.
Register your FREE Gold Lifetime membership at
http://ViralAdSystem.com/?am01

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip.

After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for
the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes
wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

‘”Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

‘”I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” replies Watson.

‘”And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute.

‘”Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions
of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically,
I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, I deduce that
the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful
day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all
powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part
of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment…

“Watson, you fool!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Wednesday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) A Beloved Rock Garden
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Hospital Regulations

The telephone rang in the fire station office.

The duty fireman picked up the receiver.

“Is this the fire station?” asked a timid voice.

“Yes, that’s right,” replied the fireman eagerly.

“Well,” continued the voice, “I’ve just had a new rock
garden built, and I’ve put in some new plants.”

“WHERE’S THE FIRE?” yelled the fireman.

“Some of these new plants are very expensive, you know,
and …”

“Look here,” said the fireman, “you want the flower shop.”

“No, I don’t,” said the voice, “you see, my neighbour’s
house is on fire and I don’t want your firemen to trample
all over my rock garden when you come here.”

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Ezine Classified Ads

Finally – in this economy – an option that WORKS.
This is brilliant. It is SO simple – It is darn near guaranteed
to work, it delivers a BIG PROGRAM commission.
MORE leverage than any other program out there.
A simple, proven, easy to follow system
http://www.stable5figureincome.com

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being
discharged.

However, while working as a student nurse, I found one
elderly gentleman, already dressed and sitting on the bed
with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need my
help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me
wheel him to the elevator. At the exit I asked him if his wife
was meeting him.

“I don’t know,” he said. “She’s still upstairs in the bathroom
changing out of her hospital gown.”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.

Welcome to Wednesday’s Edition!

In today’s issue …

1) Economics Professor
2) Today’s Opportunity
3) Battery Warranty

An economics professor at school had a strict policy that
the hourly examinations were to be completed at the bell
and anyone who kept writing on their exam after the bell
would take a zero on the exam.

Well, one guy kept writing on his exam for a while after
the bell and then confidently strode up to turn it in.

The professor looked at him and said, “Don’t bother to
hand that paper in… you get a zero for continuing after
the bell.”

The guy looked at him and said, “Professor, you don’t
know who I am!”

The professor replied, “No, and I don’t care if your dad
is president of the United States…you get a zero on this
exam.”

The guy, with a enraged look on his face, shouted,
“You mean you have no idea who I am?”

The professor responded, “No, I’ve no idea who you
think you are.”

With that, the guy said “Good!”, plunged his exam into
the middle of the stack of other student’s exams, and did
a hasty retreat from the examination room!

Get a BREAK now and let us present

TODAY’s OPPORTUNITY
brought to you by Priority Classified Ads

Do You Want LARGER ClickBank Affiliate Commissions?
Get NOW 78 pre-written emails for Clickbank products
Dollar Saver Deal!
http://tinyurl.com/78PrewrittenEmails

An angry motorist went back to a garage where he’d
purchased an expensive battery for his car six months
earlier.

“Listen,” the motorist grumbled to the owner of the
garage, “when I bought that battery you said it would
be the last battery my car would ever need. It died after
only six months!”

“Sorry,” apologized the garage owner. “I didn’t think
your car would last longer than that.”

Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.