Signing the Declaration of Independence
Friday, May 11th, 2012
Welcome to Friday’s Edition of the Jokes Journal!
In today’s issue:
1) Marriage Quotes by Men
2) Signing the Declaration of Independence
Marriage Quotes by Men
- I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first
name was Always.
- It’s not true that married men live longer than
single men. It only seems longer.
- Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was
almost impossible.
- A man was complaining to a friend: “I had it all -
money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a
beautiful woman; then, Pow! it was all gone!”
“What happened?’ asked the friend.
“My wife found out…”
- Wife: “Let’s go out and have some fun tonight.”
Husband: “Okay, but if you get home before I do,
leave the hallway light on.”
- A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife,
“Martha, pack up your things! I just won the
California lottery!” Martha replies, “Shall I pack
for warm weather or cold?” The man responds,
“I don’t care. Just so long as you’re out of the
house by noon!”
- Women will never be equal to men until they
can walk down the street bald and still think
they are beautiful!
- I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months.
I don’t like to interrupt her.
- If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and
you had to choose, would you go to lunch or
to a movie?
- A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
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Signing the Declaration of Independence
A school teacher was quizzing her students.
“Johnny, who signed the Declaration of
Independence?”
He said, “Darn if I know.”
She was a little put out by his swearing, so she
told him to go home and to bring his father with
him when he came back.
Next day, the father came with his son, sat in the
back of the room to observe.
She started back in on her quiz and finally got
back to the boy. “Now, Johnny, I’ll ask you again.
Who signed the Declaration of Independence?”
“Well, heck, teacher,” Johnny said, “I told you
I didn’t know.”
The father jumped up in the back, pointed a stern
finger at his son, and said, “Johnny, if you signed
that darn thing, heck, you darn well better admit it!”
Thank you for reading today’s issue of JOKES Journal.
