In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed by stupidity, here are some actual label instructions found on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: “Do not use while sleeping.”
On a bar of Dial soap: “Directions: Use like regular soap.”
On a Swann frozen dinners: “Serving suggestion: Defrost.”
On Tesco’s tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom of box): “Do not turn upside-down.”
On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: “Product will be hot after heating.”
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: “Do not iron clothes on body.”
On Boot’s children’s cough medicine: “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.”
On Nytol sleep aid: “Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
On most brands of Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use only.” (As opposed to what?)
On Sainsbury’s peanuts: “Warning: contains nuts.”
On an American Airlines packet of peanuts: “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”
On a child’s Superman costume: “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.” (I don’t blame the company, I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chain saw: “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.”
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies.
They then get to meet their Maker, and because of the grief they have experienced He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.
They’re all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. “I want to be gorgeous,” and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says “I want to be gorgeous too.”
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing.
When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.
Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.
The guy calms down and says…
“Make ’em all ugly again!”