Being sick is just your body's way of saying...

Woman Calls Local Hospital

Being sick is just your body's way of saying...

A woman called a local hospital.

“Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients? I’d like to find out if a patient is getting better, doing as expected, or getting worse.”

The voice on the other end said, “What is the patient’s name and room number?”

“Sarah Finkel, room 302.”

I’ll connect you with the nursing station.”

“3rd floor Nursing Station. How can I help You?”

“I’d like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in room 302.”

“Just a moment. Let me look at her records. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she’s had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at noon.”

The woman said, “What a relief! Oh, that’s fantastic … that’s wonderful news!”

The nurse said, “From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member or a very close friend!”

“Neither! I’m Sarah Finkel in 302! Nobody here tells me a thing.”

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New Technology Used in Hospitals

A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt uneasy, not knowing about all the new technology.

A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials.

“Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing,” she said.

“So would I,” replied the technician. “It’s a floor-cleaning machine.”

An Apple a Day

My wife, a phlebotomist at the Denver VA hospital, entered a patient’s room to draw blood.

Noticing an apple on his nightstand, she ?remarked, “An apple a day keeps ?the doctor away, right?”

“That’s true,” he agreed. “I haven’t seen a doctor in three days.”

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