One sunny day in 2017 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.”
The Marine looked at the man and said, “Sir, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here.”
The old man said, “Okay” and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.”
The Marine again told the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here.”
The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U. S. Marine, saying “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.”
The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama. I’ve told you already that Mr. Obama is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don’t you understand?”
The old man looked at the Marine and said, “Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.”
The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, “See you tomorrow.”
Phone Call From Hell
George Bush, Tony Blair, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin calls Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished, the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.
Next Tony Blair calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When he’s finished, the devil informs him that the cost is 6 million dollars, so Blair writes him a check.
Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he’s finished, the devil informed him that there would be no charge and feel free to call the USA anytime.
Putin goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA free. The devil replied, “Since Obama became president of the USA the country has gone to hell, so it’s a local call.”
Al, Bill, and Hillary at the Pearly Gates
Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. In Heaven, they found God sitting on the great, white throne.
He addressed Al first. “Al, what do you believe in?”
Al replied, “Well, I believe I won the election in 2000, but it was your will that I did not serve. I’ve come to understand that now.”
God thought for a second and said, “Very good. Come and sit at my left.”
God then addressed Bill. “Bill, what do you believe in?”
Bill replied, “I believe in forgiveness. I’ve sinned, but I’ve never held a grudge against my fellow man, and I hope no grudges are held against me.”
Again, God thought for a second and then said, “You are forgiven, my son. Come and sit at my right.”
God then turned to Hillary and asked, “Hillary, what do you believe in?”
She replied, “I believe you’re sitting in my chair.”