A rabbi and a priest were sitting in front of a church and they each had charity boxes in front of them to collect money.
A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said,
“Mommy, I have to pee.”
The mother said to the little boy,
“It’s not appropriate to say the word pee in church. So, from now on whenever you have to pee just tell me that you have to whisper.”
The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father,
Picture it: rural area, Sunday morning, church is packed and the devil decides to pay a visit.
The doors burst open, and a roiling black cloud rolls in with the devil in its midst. People jump out of the pews and run outdoors, screaming – all except for two. One is the Pastor, the other is an elderly farmer.
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door, as he always is, to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him,
“You need to join the Army of the Lord!”
My friend replied, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.”
My uncle once spent days looking for his new hat.
Finally, he decided that he’d go to church on Sunday and sit in the back. During the service he would sneak out and grab a hat from the rack at the front door.
On Sunday, he went to church and sat on the back pew. The sermon was about the Ten Commandments.