A man absolutely hated his wife’s cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.
As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.
The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home.
Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!
He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home.
At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.
Hours later the man calls home to his wife:
“Jen, is the cat there?”
“Yes”, the wife answers, “why do you ask?”
Frustrated, the man answered,
“Put that darned cat on the phone. I’m lost and need directions!”
Cats on a Fence
A tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence at night.
The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred… “I’ll die for you”
The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye lids and asked, “How many times?”
A Bowl of Soup
Jim sat down in the restaurant and ordered a bowl of soup.
The waiter brought the soup. As he turned to return to the kitchen, Jim stopped him.
“Yes sir, is there something wrong?”
“The soup. Taste it,” replied Jim.
“I beg your pardon, Sir?”
“But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent.”
“Taste it,” Jim persisted.
“Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients.”
The exasperated waiter finally relented. “All right, sir, I’ll taste it.” Then after a pause the waiter said, “Where is the spoon?”
To which Jim replied triumphantly, “Ah ha!”